Hello everyone, and welcome back to my TS2 BACC challenge, where introverts pretend to like people and entire families take over the forest!  Last time we were here, Grim had continued to pick off the last of generation two, leaving generation three in charge of the madness of Hillsdale.  What’s next for the residents of this rural town?

We have some interesting anti-gravity problems at Lilac’s house.

Not going to lie, though, it gives them great Christmas decorations.

Inside, Lilac was finishing up her Creativity skill through the powers of never needing to sleep.  Or eat.  Or pee.

I suspect that Meadow might be regretting the quickie marriage.

“So… Many… Weeds… And my PLANTY DEARIST ignores them!”

Oh shush, she rewarded you later.

“What is this indecency?!  Where’s the hot poolboy?!”

To be fair, she’s very busy working on her Body skill.

“Do you see a bar?!  This is for FUN!”

“Hi there, Green Lady! It sure is weird seeing green people! You almost blend into your yard!”

“We’re kindred spirits, kinda-wolf. We are both in tune to nature, appreciating its beauty and exploring its secrets… Though I don’t piss on the floor.”

“Yes, baby, life is roses, heh. I sold a bestseller, I’ve befriended the forest…”

“Hello, Plant Killers Hotline?”
“Who is that you’re talking to, honey?”
“Um, no one!”

“Are you getting aspiration points for an invisible drink?!”
“I–”
“Man, I should have stayed a Townie.”

“Meadow sure seems annoyed about something. I better relax in the hot tub and find out!”

“No, absolutely go anywhere else in the world if you want to avoid the Woodland Gangs. Don’t just marry into a family! Look what happened to me!”

“Um, hello, I’m getting mixed signals!”

“Darling child, this house seems utterly stable! Here you go, have fun.”

Sim social workers really bribed someone for their license, didn’t they.

“Oh Antoinette, honey, we’ll never leave you on the cold grass!”

Fun fact, I thought this baby’s name was Lola and had to look it up. I blame Missingabrain Syndrome.

“We said nothing about not having your crib on the cold grass– Ow, my eye!”

Now if only random strangers wouldn’t try breastfeeding her.

“Hehehehe, yes, isn’t she a fine baby, perfect for my plans…”

“You know, I suspect she was lying when she said my hand had to go into the baby’s butt.”

“Look psycho lady, just between you and me, that dog is a total mess. Smelly, lazy, prone to fevers — you name it.”

“So that Kaylene chick, do you know her?”

“Oh, I know Kaylene inside and out if you know what I mean.”

Psycho chick, you can leave our property anytime now.

“Do you see my teeth, kiddo?  Aren’t they fresh and perfect!”
“Awaaaaaaaaa–!”

And yet despite the obvious insanity surrounding her, Antoinette made it to toddlerhood.

And we end this family trip with a clear effort to run off psycho chick.  Hooray!

What do you have for us, Mary Ann?

“Well, it’s my birthday, but there’s a problem.”

Oh don’t mind him, that’s just the town creeper. He’s harmless up until you find the human remains.

“Yes, she gained boobs!”
“Just don’t look at him, he’ll go away…”

Perhaps, but your mother’s creepy coworker is here instead. Who has the exact same name as my current supervisor. ‘Cause that’s not creepy.

Benjamin meanwhile would rather avoid the whole group and just work on his own. I could judge, but I’m the same way.

“Look, I’m just saying, planes are the best mode for long-distance travel!”
“Ugh, Jessicaaaaaa.”

“You’re totally forgetting about high-speed trains!”

“And boats, hello!  We still have boats!”
“Ugh, you are so lame.”

Could be worse. She could have become a toddler in brown striped overalls. Jonathan, this is not a farm.

Nobody is coming to the table, dude.

Really, Jessica?

“Yes! -500 really!”

“Jess, honey, we love you, but we do expect you to go to school.”
“Wait, we do?!”
“Yes, Ben, we talked about this!”

Did you just bribe someone to go to school for you?

“I’ll never tell!”

It’s not because of your massive pimple, is it? Because it looks painted on, I bet some makeup would cover it up.

I said makeup, not frozen lemonade.

“Man, I swear I’m not related to this chick, Mark.”
“Sure, sure.”

“Man your back is tied up, man, let me loosen it…”
“Lalala, if I look away, it’s not happening…”

“Look, we’re best friends now, can we please go back inside?!”

Do you really want to? We’ve got mysterious destroyed furniture inside.

“Inside, psh! Chess is more fun when you push the pieces through the snow!  It’s like invading Russia!”

“I have learned the truth. The potty has taught it to me. Only I shall know!”

You need to get out more, Benjamin.

Look, you found your way up the stairs, surely you can find your way down.

Does this happen to anyone else? My pets constantly get stuck on the spiral staircases.

“Oh my god, I’m so excited our family owns a restaurant! What should we torture them with?”

“Look, I’m telling you, burnt is totally a flavour. The president of cookery said so!”
“Sure it wasn’t quackery?”

“Sis, we don’t work here, we don’t have to wash the dishes.”

“And in conclusion, I hate jewelry and everything it stands… For… Is that a white speech bubble above my head?!”

“Is the jack-in-the-box worth such a price? Of course it is! It’ll be the finest jack you’ve ever seen, in the best-crafted box!”

“Sir, are you sure those aren’t real people?”
“Sir, they are just dolls.”
“Shrunk down from real people?”
“Sir…”

“Think about it, Priya, your future child, riding with glee on the flower, learning how to love nature!”
“Brilliant!”

“Sheesh, these people are desperate for toys. What a great idea this toy store was!”

“Ha, you dope, I look far better in this sweater!”
“Oh no, you look doughy. Mine shoes off my muscular arms!”

“So how was the store, honey?”
“Well my cousins were being freaks again, but business was good.”

*POP!*

“Hooray, you aged well and got the confetti bomb!  Encore, encore!”

No rest for the elderly, though!

“Always slavedrivers…”

Oh come on, not always. Sometimes I let my Sims smustle, but only if they match their room.

How this got there, I have no idea. But of course my Sims were convinced they couldn’t pick it up.

If I had to hazard a guess, I was making Jessica Family using this. Sometimes I just don’t get it quite right when I choose aspirations based on personality and childhood.

Sometimes.

“Woo!  +500 for standing on the sidewalk!”

“Grrr, how am I supposed to watch my kid age up with you all standing around!”

You could just stand where you are.

Parents, talk to your children about Komei Syndrome before it’s too late.

You could be a bit more excited about underaging drinking, Amanda.

“This tastes like varnish.”

And you could be a bit less social worker bait.

“There, finished my novel. I’m sure everyone will enjoy it.”

“I can only imagine that ethereal screaming is not a good review.”

“Look, kids, I’m sorry. I’m just distracted from that phonecall. I never got a review that involved ominous chanting before!”
“Auntie, you knocked out Jess!”

Dude, that’s not your bed. That’s not even the best bed in the house. Get out.

“Look kid, I’m just saying, you have to be from outerspace to think the Komei look is good.”
“At least I don’t look like a 1950s reject.”
“Hey, poodle skirts are making a comeback!”
“To poodles, maybe.”

“Jon, homework is the best part of being a child. Your mind will expand in incredible ways. Your head might even fit your haircut!”

Overall, I’d say Jonathan is getting along quite well with his family.

“Eat me, sister!”
“Shove off, you stupid punk!”

And look at our beautiful, sexy, totally-not-bonkers toy shop!

The inside is still the same, though. To Mary Ann’s misfortune.

“I say we kill them. Starting with Jon.”
“Agreed.”

And on that heartwarming note, we get this heartwarming photo of Abraham receiving inheritance.

“Hmm, who died?”

Oh just your parents, no one important.

And what did I do with that inheritance money but get them the most radical bathroom of all time?

Okay, okay, the whole place got an upgrade. But you must admit that bathroom is amazing.

Abraham still gets to do his magic outside, though. This photo looks more like he’s testing spray-tan lotion.

“Hmm, no, no real change…”

You can go home at any time, you know.

“But why would I?”

I don’t know, maybe the disturbing conversations in a smelly bathroom.

Or the serious breaking of physics in said bathroom.

“Oh yes, violin is such a beautiful instrument!”

Sigh.

Personally, I wouldn’t spent too much time in that house since Abraham makes this creepy pose all the time.

But we’re here to build! We need to get this gym up to a worth of 250K and as you can see, I’m doing a fantastic job of building a cool, functional gym. Sims can swim in roofs, right?

“Look, I’m just saying that if you consider the average time spent at the gym compared to the price of the ticket then you would– is someone casting a spell on my butt?”

“Oh Abraham, you run the best gym ever! You’re such a great guy!”
“Hehe, creepy townie like.”

“And I can’t believe you let that dirty dish stay!”
“Dude, it’s been there only twenty minutes!”
“Then how do you explain the flies?!”

I hate when customers complain about something that has only existed for 0.05 seconds. Well sorry we don’t have dish teleportation here!

Besides, we clearly have way bigger issues here.

“Marissa, are you okay?!”
“Yes, it’s just my liver… No big deal…”

We’re savaging organs on our nice new soccer field!  The benches are custom content from… Somewhere. Probably modthesims but who knows. Unfortunately the bench in-game doesn’t say who made it.

Unsurprisingly, though, this is still the most popular part of the gym.

“Sandy, honey, you are as beautiful as a freshly-bloomed daisy…”

‘

Suck up that espresso, Abraham, we have money to make!

For instance, we finally have our pool! That no one uses, but hey.

Not my fault they prefer to induce labour.

“I think I induced a concussion instead.”

“So you see, all of the money that we get from that pinball machine can go right back into our gym, and then all of the men will be buffer!”
“Brother, you are brilliant.”

“Look Jeff, I may not be getting older, but I also ain’t getting any younger…”

“So you ready for this?”
“Oh I was born ready.  Born.”

I sure hope you have crushes on each other after that. Also I love how the position they’re in makes little to no sense.

“Oh Joe, you dirty rascal, I can just tickle you!”

“I’m also going to yoink your lung if you don’t mind…”

“Rover, I need you to find my lung. Go boy, go!”

“Ahhh, your lung tasted good in a smoothie!”
“Yeah right, that’s why it smells like strawberries in here.”

Great joke and all, but I need you to make money, not screw with your lovers. Pun fully intended.

You know you want to, Priya. We have the best baby spinners in the town.

“Whoa, I’m not sure that worked. Shouldn’t listen to the voices in my head…”

The gym is progressing, though! We now have a quasi-spa area, which is of course where our customers spend 90% of their time. The remaining 10% is on the wheel or in the toilet.

I thought the massage table would be a nice addition and a good way to pull in some more cash, but even with someone stationed there, no one would go over. I had to convince Euro here to get a massage.

There are also some slight concerns with the new indoor basketball court, but I’m sure the roof damage is nothing to worry about.

“And can you believe it, he totally croaked!”

So like the gym didn’t have enough problems, we ended up with the cursed sink with permanent water and stains.

“I can’t believe you’re letting your sink turn into a lagoon!”
“Euro, please, it’s cursed plumbing. What do you expect?”

Well, she probably expects the guests to not eat chips through their sinuses.

“Look, guys, I’m pretty sure I’m not turning 80.”

Maybe not, but blow the candles out before Benjamin there kills you.

Brandon, we’re trying to have a party if you could get out of the way and leer elsewhere.

“All right, yeah, old man! My favourite!”

Brandon, no.

“Officer, we have a serious case of overpartying at the Centowskis, over.”

I bet the Cables called. I once called 911 upon hearing what sounded like cannons and getting a bored person telling me that they were probably fireworks. Well no shit, but maybe investigate why our city has cannon fireworks?!

Anyway.

And that’s when the Rapture happened and the cop ascended into heaven.

The End.

Or not.

So I made the brilliant decision to hire Komei as an employee because he’s athletic and whatever. As you can see, it was a great idea.

First, instead of helping people, he decided to work out until he stank.

Then, once he was truly repulsive, he started interacting with the customers. This did not go well.

“Ugh, his stink cloud is gaining sentience!”

“Your gym made me stronger! Let me demonstrate! *WHAM*”

Though it looks like his arm is spiraling straight off of his shoulder. Ouch.

“And I just cannot believe you do not have a garbage disposal!”
“Sir, what does a garbage disposal have to with a–”
“CAN’T BELIEVE IT!”

“Oooh, she’s so hot when she admires my dollar bill!”

So either it became spring or Abraham has his own mating season because suddenly it was neverending heart farts.

Well, that and neverending hot tubbing.

I’m a bit worried about that black-haired guy, though. I’m not sure you’re supposed to become one with the hot tub.

The gym proceeds though. With our pinball machine and ticket earnings, we now have a bowling alley!

“Oh, Abraham, you handsome man, cast your spell on me…”

“Waaaaaah a girl touched me!”
“Um, are you okay, Abraham.”

He’s just PMSing.

The bowling alleys are probably the first thing to drag customers away from the hot tub since the treadmills and the wheel.

Christy is married, dude. Try again.

“You know who isn’t married?  Me.”

Whoa, Ivy!

“Hmph, where is the proprietor when I need him?  The treadmill isn’t fast enough!”

Oh he’s just having your typical super-speed Sim romance.

“Gosh, I’m in love! What a wonderful feeling!”

Would you stop doing that?!

First there’s the kiss…

Then there’s the makeout… Or the neck eating, not sure.

Then there’s the speedy little

Pro-

Po-

Sal!

Or admiring the one dollar bill. That works too.

“Now to turn things sensual…”

It’s really not that sensual if she’s paying for it.

“Ha, magic is great! Dirty dishes, goodbye!”

“Excellent, excellent. The gym is clean, and now I can plan!”

Plan to freeze to death, of course.

And to plan your wedding on Simbook.

“Oh my god, why is he making us do this breath chant before we come in? It’s freezing out!”

Christy, are you double dipping? And is your husband dumping his drink on the floor?

“Our hands are still frozen from that chant. Alcohol will warm me right up!”

Yes, all cheer the crazy man of the hour!

Maxima, this is not your wedding.

“But I’ll fall in love anyway!”

“So I guess our guests aren’t coming to the ceremony.”

“Well, we got one guest. Good enough for me!”

“Yes, hooray, sell your souls to each other, woohoo!”

“Hey, Jeff, what’d we miss?”
“Oh, just the vows.”
“Sweet, we got to skip the boring part!”

And the guests literally don’t make it until the wedding is over. Though to be fair, it could be because they all have melded into one behind Jeffrey.

Also, some of them were nursing booze babies.

Would you stop that!

“But I just got married! I’m so happyyyyyy!”

Yeah, well, you’re not done. Cake time!

Ahem, melding is not part of the wedding.

“And so I threw the ball straight for him. Bully tactics work!”

“So I’m now a wedded, happy man. You know what I want to do next?”

“Let’s do this.”

What’s this? Did they go to a fight to celebrate the wedding?

“Haha, yeah! Slap him around, pull his hat off!”

“Ugh, again? I’m not even bothering to call security.”

As it turns out, nah, we’re just back with the original Baguets, where they’re ignoring the war for some good ol’ tickling.

“Yeah, well, it happened, so time for you to pay up.”
“Grrr, that woman, I’ll get her next time with my tourist kung-fu!”

“Whatever, I can’t stay mad when I’m juggling!”
“Sir, could you please repair the sink, that’s why we called you.”

“Why yes, our hotel is the best in the area and– screaming, why no, I do not hear anything, haha!”

“You know, honey, maybe we should leave a bit early. Before this gets worse.”
“Eat death, bitch!”

“Did you enjoy your stay, sir?”
“Well the dinner entertainment was interesting.”

“Well crap.”

Hey, it was a successful honeymoon.

“Shoot, sorry, pup. You gotta be careful when you’re near the scythe, you know?”

“‘Scuse me, coming through — kid, did you just walk through me?!”

“Um, hello, I can’t watch the death!”
“Bite me, kid, you walked right through my ribs!”

“Gosh, I don’t know what to do! I guess I just won’t see it!”

“Oh wait, they’re right behind me, NOOOOOO!”

“Oh hey there, this is kind of a bad time, you know, mate dying and all…”

“You people have no respect for death, do you?”
“Well, we do, but you’re taking so long and–”
“NO RESPECT!”

“Whatever, dude, I’m done.”

RIP, Jill. Sorry everyone was rude.

Including Kaylene.  That’s not even your bed!

At least Andrew is having fun.

“Oh Sandy, let me kiss your boob!”
“Sir, we can arrest you for indecency…”

“I have the oddest feeling that a ghost in swim trunks is stalking me…”

Don’t be silly. That’s just your brother having way too much fun.

“Woooooo! No hands!”

“Look, I don’t care if you have fun, I just don’t want you having that kind of fun near my kids. I can only use the sumo wrestling reason so many times!”

“Look, honey, I think soccer would be a more appropriately analogy.”
“You were kicking balls?”
“To be fair, it wasn’t purposeful.”

If she but knew what happened in private rooms.

“Yes, Endo, it’s very… Impressive.”

“Wow, I can’t believe you went to the sun!  How did you survive?”

“Teach me your ways, Kathren. I wanna be a sun goddess!”

Trying to drown away your sights of Endo?

“It was a glitchy photo and you know it.”

Sure, that’s what they all say.

“Look, Sandy, there’s only one restaurant in this town, so we’ll just have to deal with my crazy extended family.”

“Look, come with me or I’ll kick your ovaries!”
“Sheesh, I told you it was an accident!”

“This seems like a nice enough place, Andrew! Too bad they only had one free menu.”

“Hello, I would– wait, Andrew, this girl looks like the one you said was fighting on your vacation!”
“Well if it is her, she has a long commute.”

“Movies? Oh, Andy, you know I don’t just share my risque secrets.”

The awkward silence that followed lasted well into the next century.

“Look, they aren’t some five-star hotel, we can’t expect perfectly cooked food.”

“Look, there’s overcooked and then there’s charcoal. That and your family is slowly closing in on us.”

“Well let’s give them a show then!”

Gotta love how Benjamin quickly books it out of there!

Sandy, you stone-cold fox, give me a heart!

“Nah.”

“Augh, my hand is stuck in the wall!”

“Dude, you know I’m the best biker there is. Just look at my wife beater.”
“Dude, we’re wearing the same outfit. It’s a work uniform.”

“Arrrrrgh, must I give birth in the kitchen of death?!”
“Oh, I hope this isn’t the placenta.”

Meet Iris! She might be a clone; it’s been a while.

“I can’t believe I have to change a baby’s diaper! Can’t they be housetrained?”

Not until they’re a few years old, dude.

Sandy continues to play hard-to-get. I thought I would get these guys married and all but I suspect they aren’t feeling it.

We’ve got bigger issues anyway.

“Why is grandma haunting me?!”

Because she died in her work uniform. Can’t blame her for being bitter.

Ladies and gentlemen, your car is cleared for takeoff.

“Grandma! Can’t I feed the baby?!”
“Not on my watch, mwahahaha!”

My my, who is this little devil punching a teddy bear? What’s happening in Hilldales?

---

Why, you’ll get to find out next time! Will the gym get to the required value? Will pregnant women stop trying to induce labour? Will I stop making raunchy jokes? We shall see!