Well hello there! Aren’t you just a darling little blog reader? Why, last time I saw you, you only had dial-up! Well pull up a chair and join me for the strangest BACC this side of the interwebz!

Sorry, don’t know where that came from. Last month, the usual events for a BACC happened — people died, babies were born, we had Christmas cacti on top of a greenhouse, it was great.

We start out at the Centowski house, where Amanda is very impressed with her noodle arms.

“They’re not noodle arms! They’re buff!”

Yeah, well you’re kind of missing your sister’s birthday.

That hair isn’t going to work with that face, is it.

“Ugh, look, I swear I didn’t mean to miss your birthday! Don’t the green smilies and aspiration points mean anything to you?”
“Not when my plumbob is this yellow!”

Could be worse. You could be yelling at the dog.

“We did not request a tunnel to another dimension, mister!”

I swear, my Sims never let me have any fun with coloured hair.

“It looks like shit was streaked through it!”

Look, we all need hobbies.

The hat was acceptable, but barely. Whatever.

“Can you believe that she complained about the waitress? At the only restaurant in town? She’s never getting service again after that!”

She has a point. Being polite to the help does a lot of good when you’re shopping, especially when the help is a knowledge robot who will gladly learn to kick your butt.

The same advice applies when the help is an alien with next to no nice points too.

Really, it’s a miracle that anyone is rude in this town. Those Woodland Gangs sure don’t bother teaching manners.

The Castle of FUN! continues to be a classy place, of course.

“My wins tonight will be like opening a safe, trust me.”

“This is so unfair! What poker game says that if the house wins, you have to unclog the toilets?!”

Well no one else will.

“Hell yeah, in Sim world, drinks are free no matter how young a teen you are!”
“What did I do to Nery to deserve inheriting this place?”

You breathed, most likely.

Back at home, Rosemary was missing some riveting conversations about sculptures, food, and hating Josephine’s guts. Sheesh, people, she’s just a kid, give her some slack.

It’s not like she has a death wish or anything, Rosemary.

“I thought the power was ooooooooffffffrrrgggghhkalsjf;s!”

“Heh heh, why of course I have three best friends forever, I’m only the best kid ever.”

“Ugh, never mind, I have to call you back, Mom’s popping out a kid.”

Are you sure? She looks awfully happy about it.

“This yoga sure helps with the labour pains!”

Out pops Noah! Not sure why his father looks ready to eat him.

“Just a little seasoning and oh he’d be delectable!”

“Look dad, you don’t need to eat Noah. You look ready to pop a baby out already!”
“Hey!”

“I’m just saying that I really think we should hide the grill just in case.”

She might have a point.

“Nonsense! A little flambe is perfect for this!”

Yeah, a little, not the whole bloody stove.

“Look, I’m telling you, slippers are the best way to determine who your loved one is supposed to be! It worked for Cinderella!”

“Woman, I thought you’re a witch, not a demented cosplayer.”

“Demented cosplayer, I’ll show her! Eyes up, HUT!”

“Bubbles, I better salute!”
“Oh bubbles, salute the bubbles!”
“Are those bubbles?”

“Look, I’m serious, if you wanted to play ball, you should have just been clear about it.”
“But Cinderella went to a ball with those slippers!”
“Woman…”

“Forget ball, I wanna juggle now! WEEEEEEE!”

Can you guess her aspiration? That’s right, Annoying Spaz. It’s a rare one.

Eyes up, Maxima.

“But how do they do that?!”

From the looks of it, by dislocating her ribs. She’s a hardcore gamer.

Still not as weird as what’s going on here, though.

“Yes, child! Merge with the smustle! Feel your arm in my thigh!”
“And pretend to eat an ice cream cone!”
“Yes, you got it!”

Is there a reason we’re hanging out in the bathroom?

“Oh nothing, just admiring a fine old man…”

Ah yes, the giant nose, the bulging lips, such a handsome profile.

And such a stable individual too!

“Yes, punch the invisible monsters! I will find you and get you!”

Well I’m afraid everyone else is having a psychotic break, Rosemary, so you’ll have to grow Noah up. And maybe eventually I’ll fix that wall. Maybe.

“Look, hats are way better than dyed hair. I don’t know what she was thinking.”

Look, could we not trap Christy with our homework sessions. I don’t ask much from you people.

She escaped in time to teach Noah true enlightenment, giving him a permanent glow.

The teens would help, but they had a very important job of watching TV with townies.

At least Andy was having a rare moment of being a real Family Sim.

“Yay! No more dirty diapers!”

“Ugh, why are you hovering over me?”
“Well for one thing, that’s not your bed.”

“Okay, but where did Abraham come from?”
“Forget that, have him clean the dog! Gross!”

“Ooh my god, that nightie is ridiculous! Loser!”
“At least I don’t smell like a backwater swamp!”

Christy in the corner there seems to be questioning having children.

Wilma and Benny did manage to pop out a puppy. As you can see, it’s going just as well as having the five million kids was.

But Rio survived to be a fabulous adult so hey, can’t complain.

Well, okay, maybe Benny could, being constantly neglected at all.

“Tiny human, I need your help removing the curse that is the big humans.”

Here we see the rare moment that a Family Sim gets points for Family Sim stuff.

ANd just in time too!

“Oh my gosh, Jessica, isn’t this exciting?!”
“Yeah, so exciting I just deformed my own hand.”

I know someone who might be thrilled by that.

Hillsdale might be known for now for its Woodland Gangs, but as the town grows, it’s attracting other denizens. Odd denizens.

Demon denizens with green cats.

And what a welcome wagon for Memoria and Juliet Redeem!

“Oh what a delight, a new neighbor!”
“Hmm. Smells like gullibility!”

Memoria is not a particularly nice Sim.

“What, fairy tale punk, can’t handle a bit of hardball?!”

“Oh yes, people would make great sculptures! But I haven’t figured out Medusa’s stone gaze yet to do so.”

“You know, that woman seems like a werewolf. Maybe it’s best that we run away.”

Don’t worry. She can’t even manage a job right.

“How was I supposed to know that wishing for your boss’s cornfields to wither and die was against the employee handbook?”

“And thus I conclude that it is all the paper boy’s fault, and I shall sing a song of madness to defeat him.”

“Also, I want a chess table.”

You’d think a woman with such evil machinations would spy on something better than vehicles, but no. No she doesn’t.

No seriously. Just vehicles.

“The exterminator! He would have good poisons!”

Apparently that’s still scandalous enough to warrant being harassed by the forces of good.

“No I don’t want to come over and play catch!”

And then one fateful day, she decided to focus on the real issues.

“Hee hee, Sanjay is kissing his wife!”

And apparently he walked all the way to her house.

“Look, I know you’re an evil demonness, but I will not stand for someone intruding on my personal life!”

“Why are mortals so mean to me?!”

I’m starting to suspect that she failed demon school.

I mean really, how many times can one person get demoted or fired?

“Look, caesium in water was a perfect idea and I don’t care if they disagreed!”

“Greetings human. Would you care to hear about the one true religion?”

“Look, you might think you’re mighty, but I have powers beyond your comprehension!”

Like the power to get constantly demoted?

“Please. They just don’t realize my brilliance.”

Right. We tremble in anticipation.

No time for trembling right now, though! We have a secret inside view of Euro greeting a salesclerk in a fancy-ass building…

… A greeting that apparently lasted ten hours.

I love the landlord laughing at an event he can’t even see. Wearing his X-ray contacts, I guess.

Yes, Euro has moved into a nice apartment on the same street as the Cable residence. It’s pretty fancy, judging by the wallpaper.

“Yes, hello, Potty Trainers Anonymous? I need to report a potential candidate…”

“Hello miss, where is the candidate?”
“Wait, the police manage the potty line?”
“We’ve broken up enough toddler parties to be useful in that regard.”

“You reported me to the potty line?!”
“Look woman, you smell like urine and are wandering around at all hours. Get it together!”

Euro adopted Tulip, one of the owl kittens! How cute!

“Oh, a new neighbor!”

So we have a crazy woman and a clown as neighbors. Great.

And I’m not being mean. She literally is just hanging around, stinky and starving, to swing on the swingset.

Then she passed out and stayed there until the next morning. At least the paperboy is showing concern.

“Oh jeez, what to do, would I get arrested if I didn’t report her?!”

“Pweh, smells like urine!”
“Yeah, well, I’m trying to do my part with this hoe here, do you mind?”

Then the classy landlord came over and laughed for a very long time.

“Thanks for waking me up, man.”
“Any time, but please, go shower!”

But instead of showering, she went into the communal area and glared at me.

You aren’t even my Sim! You’re a Townie!

“I know you’re there, human. And I demand you save me.”

Go the hell home! Or go with the creepy guy, maybe he can at least give you MaxMotives.

Euro, be a dear and make food for the insane starving lady.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, weiners coming up.”

“Ugh, so glad to get away from that urine stench.”

“Thank goodness for the Castle of FUN! hot tub. Melt that urine away…”

Didn’t we hire you to be a DJ?

“Well contemplating sinks is important too. The drains are like navels.”

“Look half-brother, I just had to make food for a starving lunatic who peed all over my porch and then passed out in it, so don’t even try to cheat me.”

She sees a sucker in Joe Carr. Don’t we all.

“Euro, would it be weird as your half-brother to say you look like an artistic figure.”
“Yes.”
“Shit.”

On that charming note, lookie here! A baby room complete with rain!

“Creator, where did my belly bump go?!”

Maybe the baby went for a smoke.

“Why, why?! Can’t this be any quieter?”
“If I imagine your death, sure.”
“Carry on.”

Wait, where did the gang member come from?

“Ooof, I think the baby just slammed back into me!”
“Argh, didn’t this woman use protection?!”

Meet Nilam. Priya is thrilled.

Though that could be because she got shipped right off to work after that.

And then I make her slave away at the sewing machine. Kid’s got a father for a reason!

“So can I get a look at the merchandise first?”
“Sure, follow me.”

“Hmmm, not bad, I guess, but not worth the price he’s asking.”

“Maybe I want to see my kid at some point!”

That must be why you’re platinum from sewing.

Don’t worry. Dad and son are bonding quite well in the room with the strange-ass wallpaper. Seriously, what’s going on there?

“All right, everyone, do the smust– No Lindsay, not into the wall!”

“So could we get this party on, because Abraham is seriously gross.”

She might have a point, since he’s utterly thoughtless at a birthday party!

I’ll see myself out.

And into toddlerhood Nalim goes, as formal as mother.

And considerably less formal than what is going on in here. Dude, this isn’t your house!

We leave this household with the magic levitating dirty diaper, powered by thought alone.

And that is how we will leave this part, too! We might end up with three-part chapters thanks to the five thousand households. Next time we shall see how the oldcomers are dealing with these upstarts and their babies and psychoses. Tschuess!