Hello everyone, and welcome back to my TS3 legacy, last updated over a year ago! Awkward. I was having too much fun having a stressful year and playing my TS4 apocalypse challenge.

Last time, the twins grew up, the cats grew up, and Trent sucked at being a mime. Let’s see how much of this I can write with a headache!

When we last left these lunatics, they had had Victoria here, who apparently gets to break her spine. The challenge says we have to have them. It says nothing about keeping them alive.

Meanwhile, the horses are having other issues.

“Ewwww, giant prey beast! Personal space!”
“I don’t care how much you hate dogs, I wanna RUN!”

Ah, saved the baby from your sister.

“Yeah, great, thanks. Can I get married and move out yet?!”

Nope!

Then the turtle died. They never found the cat who did it.

Oh great.

“HIDEY HO, BITCH!”

Sorry, been listening to too much Ice Nine Kills, and that line always cracks me up. Stupid creepy imaginary friends, not letting kids have some privacy!

Never mind the bathtub clearly visible through the window.

I think I know why Trent’s magician career isn’t working out.

Who needs showers when you have Fitness.

Bruce is living proof that being evil makes you immortal. Well, unless a cow plant is involved.

“Shut up!”

And then everyone goes running into the kitchen, presumably because someone made ice cream.

I really should just sell that stupid machine.

Yep, got it in one!

Ah, so that’s where Anna gets it from.

“Shut up! Sheesh, so annoying today.”

“Hruk! How long has that sun been there?! Is the government spying on me?!”

“Look, I don’t care if I’m trapped in this house, I want to see you and feel you NOW!”

So he shows up drunk. Classy.

“I thought I was the favorite!”

I mean, it doesn’t even look like you’re touching the electronics so I think you’re good.

Ah, apparently Nicole decided that if Daniel gets to be drunk, so does she.

Bartenders are interesting as always.

“And a sketchy drink for you, and a sketchy drink for yo– Uh, me…”

“Um, should I be worried that the kitten is beating up a ghost?”

In this house? Nah. That’s just Tuesday.

Also Tuesday: Anna shrieking at exercise equipment.

“I WILL GET YOOOUUUUUU!”

“O-Oh, hi, auntie! We’re not doing anything with the cat!”

Poor kitty, starving and only Jessica came to his birthday party.

But then, only evil grandpa came to Victoria’s.

Ah, my mistake.  The evil cat came too.

Oh no, they crossed her eyes! Those monsters!

Victoria is absolutely adorable. She’s Excitable and Eccentric. What a combo.

Looks like the bar won, eh?

“GRRRRRR!”

And then the lizard died.

They never found the fucking creepy-ass gnome who did it.

“Look, I just don’t like you, okay?”
“What if I give you a leaf?”

“Look, the least you could do is clean the dishes!”
“OH DEAR I’M JUST ABOUT TO PASS OUT GOTTA GO!”

“Mwahahaha! The Wicked Witch is dead! Now you all belong to ME!”

Well at least we got Jessica pregnant again.

Giving Nicole a break?

“Not willingly, I’ll tell you that.”

Thank the gods this isn’t gen 1, because this dude sucks.

“Look being a magician is tiring!”

Especially when you never do it.

“AUGH, MOM, WHAT DO I DO, WHERE’S DAD?!”
“I wonder if anyone would notice if I came home with an urn and not a baby…”

He eats cake. That’s what he does.

Meet Madeleine. Finally, at long last, the last child. And she’s not in an urn!

“Excuse me, sir, I’m investigating a series of murders involving fingers dressed like hot dogs…”

Meanwhile, Trent meets up with Bex. Trent thinks science, Bex thinks get me away from these people. I know how they feel.

Too bad Trent’s an idiot.

“Look at you with your noodly arms! Get to the gym!”

Ah good, Bruce is training the attack cats.

While Nicole whines instead of giving Victoria some actual attention.

“Yeah, well, me complaining should count.”

“Hee hee hee, I have a surprise for everyone!”

“I’m pregnant!”
“Mom, you’re always pregnant.”

I’m guessing my game crashed, so time for Jessica Pregnancy 2.0?

Um, is she tucking her in, or trying to suck the life out of her?

“Look, at this point I am ready to burn this house to the ground.”

“Booooooorrrriiiiiing.”

What a family.

To the rest of the family, Bruce is a lunatic. To the horses? He is the spoiling grandpa.

Um, what are you doing?

“Fleeing the country, why?”

“Grrr, you trained me to attack, and so I will attack YOU!”

“Bad cat! You attack my enemies, not ME!”

Freakin’ Budge.

“Ew, what IS that?”

“Wait, why are you looking through the WINDOW?”

Presumably the angle was weird. Also, I’m weird.

“Um, I’m afraid to move.”

I would be too. You might be stuck here until someone else shows up.

Nicole’s a bit busy, though. And she isn’t Irresistible so they probably would ignore her.

“Oooooh, a fortune cookie machine!”

Seriously, didn’t know those could end up in the junkyard! Or I think that’s what it is.

Stephen is probably still stuck, but hey, the garden is clearly neglected.

“Oh thank god.”

Yep. Job three is collecting, so back to the Military while we’re doing that.

If you would just sleep instead of terrorizing everyone, you’d be fine.

Holy crap, interacting with a child! Even Victoria looks in awe!

“Don’t you just love music?”
“Yes, doorbells are my favourite.”

Er, are you flirting with the horse ball?

“Heeeey there, big boy.”

Luckily we have one of those butterfly item things, so collecting is a lot easier. Especially since he doesn’t have to interact with anyone.

God, the only people I’d trust less are Bruce and Anna. Aren’t there babies that need taking care of?

“Grrr, I can’t believe she has the nerve to use the fryer!”

“And the nerve to be so HOT!”

You know, I can see why Nicole hates being here. Luckily Christine doesn’t seem concerned.

“Oh boy, oh boy! Let’s run around the beach some more!”

I love the horses.

“Look, lady, I don’t care how famous you are, how related we are, or how dead you are– stop hogging the fryer.”

“All right, Budge, like we practiced, high five!”

“AUGH, NO, NOT HIGH-DIE!”

Um, Jessica, you appear to be losing your torso.

“Oh god. Not again.”

“Famous daughter fishes in her backyard! I’ll get a Pulitzer for this!”

Look, I know, the cat sucks. Please focus on your granddaughter.

Um, you can probably take a break, Jessica. Really.

“I see you, Budge. And I smell your evil over the incense. I WILL GET YOU.”

“Tonya, I’ve stalked you throughout the house.”

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m getting an autograph from the famous Tonya!”

Mate, she’s literally your mother-in-law. You have seen her tons of times.

“INCREDIBLE!”

Ah, just who I want teaching life lessons!

“I have an imaginary friend who interrupts my bathtime.”
“Well clearly we must kill him.”

“Um, is that my uncle, in his graduation gown, in the middle of the road?”

You get used to him.

Still, better talk to him just in case as i think he’s been there for days.

“Isn’t it great being a faerie?!”

“So I really just want to get married but I’m trapped being help for my family…”

Oh stop trying to guilt trip me.

“Speaking of FORCED–“

These two always look like they’re witnessing some horror. Which, Bruce lives there, so far.

Case in point–

“So anyway, it smells like a nuclear bomb in here and my torso is being cleaved by aliens…”

Yeah, that shirt doesn’t like pregnancies.

“So nuclear fusion doesn’t have a scent. You’re just smelling your intestines popping out of your shirt.”
“FEED ME OR I EAT YOUR TOES!”

“AUGH DIDN’T I ALREADY DO THIS?!”

Presumably. Maybe the other kid DID go in an urn.

Wait…

“COME MADELEINE WE NEED TO LEAVE!”

911, we have a babynapping by a cleaved torso, send units.

You’re covering her fleeing, aren’t you?!

“The great god of music told me to!”

Meanwhile, down the road…

“Wait, what am I doing?”

I have no idea! Did someone buy the baby? Were you fleeing an invisible fire? Trying to escape me, what?!

“Hi honey, sorry I had a panic–“
“I AM SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A BABY!”
“Never mind, leaving again.”

“Um, sis? There’s something wrong with our parents.”
“You just figured that out, eh?”

“Well, no, but I thought maybe you could help instead of giving a concert for dead grandma.”

Well at least the horses are doing okay. Maybe the key in this household is to never go inside.

No, seriously. If this was Sims 4, I’d suspect a Cursed lot.

“Sigh, I’ll pretend they’re chocolate.”

“We won’t let you in there, great human. We’ve heard what goes on in there.”

Nothing like a horse intervention.

Er. A very dangerous horse intervention.

“We would rather bury him alive than let him in there.”

“Bleeeh! Why couldn’t you just eat me!”

“A crying baby? I’ll go through the crib!”

See, this is why the parents aren’t involved. They don’t know how.

Meanwhile, the dance of the animals. Though maybe Drifter is trying to get away.

“I have an itch, dammit! Get away from me!”

“Er, how do horses work?”
“Oh my GOD, mom, you are such a loser.”

Budge takes a rare moment out of attacking everyone to take a bath. Probably too much blood on his claws.

So I forgot the many new mods I had downloaded, so when I first saw the kid do this it freaked me RIGHT the hell out.

Christine always wanders around looking pissed off with someone. And she doesn’t even have to fix everything like Anne does.

Well. Attempt to fix.

“Hmm, I wonder if I can steal some cake while she’s distracted.”

Really, Anne.

Really.

“Look, I am so baked I don’t know what’s going on!”

Yep, enjoy that terrible pun.

“Is this how extinguishers work?”

“You could help, you know!”
“We’d rather complain, if you don’t mind.”

“AUGH OMG A FIRE!”
“NOT THE DISHWASHER!”
“Would you guys sto– AUGH I’M SPRAYING MYSELF!”

“Aren’t guinea pigs delicious?”
“Aren’t you going to fuck off?”

Speaking of new mods, I downloaded one where your toddlers can ask for things. Problem is, apparently they can also ask the pets. And then things go terrifying.

But EvilGenius kindly gave her a bottle, so hey! I’ll take it.

“Ugh, not ANOTHER birthday.”

“Yes! Finally, the last infant!”

“YEah, woo, whatever, how many times do I have to do this.”

“And I’d like to thank my mother for spinning me into existence…”

“AAAUUUUGH MY MOOOOUTH!”
“OMG, look at that cake! That’s horrendous.”
“I think you have a mole here, grandpa.”

Seriously, this looks like one of those AI generated pieces.

Pop goes Madeleine! She’s a clone of Victoria, except in personality: Loner, Couch Potato. What a family.

“I hear someone is trying to usurp me, yet I’m stuck in this chair!”

“Sis no give cake?”
“No. I’d have to blend it and that’s just weird.”

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And we’re officially caught up to where I am in the game itself! How exciting! So I’ll need to play the family to let you know: will Victoria and Madeleine have a rivalry? Will Budge stop attacking people? Will Bruce ever die? We shall all see.

Stay safe and well, everyone.