The march of progress…

Welcome back, friends, to the TS4 apocalypse. We’re on Gen 2, hoping to quadruple the number of restrictions we have lifted thanks to Gen 1’s surprise twins. Gen 1 lifted hopelessness, Culinary (Chef), and Criminal (Oracle). So far, Gen 2 has lifted Secret Agent (Diamond Agent), allowing those surprise twins to move out once they lift THEIR restrictions.

Izaiah, heir to the dystopia throne, unlocked Secret Agent (Diamond Agent). We can move the surprise twins out!

Raven in the pink, one of the surprise twins, just unlocked Writer (Author). Her reward is cleaning the house.

Excuse me, I said your reward is cleaning, not breaking rules!

Wh– we haven’t unlocked Retail Employee!

“That’s what you get for making me clean!”

“WOOOOOOOO FERTIRILIZATION WOOOOOO!”
“Mom, do you mind?! I’m transmogrifying, here!”

Meanwhile, outside, the townspeople have decided mocking the apocalypse weirdos is the best move.

But frankly, the bigger concern is Katarina’s male pattern baldness.

Da fuck, EA?

“Hey, sis, want your wig back?”

I legit thought her arm was all glitched out instead of in a sleeve, here.

“So anyway, is there a reason you’re suddenly hella white and look like the old lady in my thought bubble?”

Ah. Because she ate the cursed salad.

This is Carlee, Izaiah’s husband. She was going to unlock the active police career as part of my version of the apocalypse, but you can’t get promoted in an active career unless you go onsite, so instead, she will unlock Writer (Journalist). She’d be closer if she didn’t like to spend her time wandering around shirtless. Those are her pajamas and despite what Raven thinks, Retail Employee is locked and so I can’t change it. Get used to boobs, I guess?

Raven got to be the first one to move out, but instead of moving, she kept coming around at all hours of the night. Go HOME, Raven!

Though I must’ve changed her appearance using a mod since she was moved out anyway. Cheater cheater, me!

“Hahaha, oh you guys are so funny! So funny I coughed! Hahaha!”

“Hmmm, no, I don’t think your homework involves a horse and carriage, Heidi dear.”

I don’t think this is Adele. Truth be told, I have no clue who this is.

“Katarina, that is a hideous-looking salad! I taught you better than this!”
“Hey, mom, remember how I’m a body builder? That means FITNESS.”
“Psh, like I couldn’t still beat your ass…”

Katarina, having now returned back to her normal looks, is working on unlocking Athlete (Body Builder), so we can stop having that bedroom horror show you saw in the previous shot.

Ah, we’re accosting the wandering punk rockers.

“You! You there! Do you want weird crepes?!”

Hey, Carlee, Carlee?  Wrong sibling. You’re with Izaiah, you ass.

Meanwhile, outside…

“Hey lady, I don’t know you, but how about I caress your cheek?”

Yeah, most women are pretty tense after a random man caresses their face.

Raven really has the look of someone who has seen it all, and will never see again.

“How dare you not appreciate my caress, you wench!”

“Yeah well how dare you harass me!”

“How dare you people ignore me delivering your imminent doom!”

“Please love me. Even as my eyes recede into my skull.”

Poor Adele. She’s had a shit time of it, and it doesn’t look like Raven is helping.

“Wow, sure is still a dump here. Bummer.”

“Soooo you think we’ll ever have a normal house? Like before I die?”

“This massive douche felt me up and then got mad. I’ll never love again.”
“Er, that’s not really love.”

Okay, seriously Raven, you have a house. GO HOME. You don’t need to bougie outside of our front door.

But then again, it’s Heidi’s birthday, so why not?

And pop goes Heidi into adult– er, teendom. If teen Sims in TS4 changed looks or even clothes it’d be one thing, but nope.

We celebrate her birthday by making her fix the sink.

“This sucks! Stupid family!”

“Hey, I know it’s your birthday and all, but I’ve decided today is a good day to die.”
“DAMMIT GRANDMA I HAVE TO PEE!!”

“Oh, jeez, you did have to go, didn’t you.”

Yep. What a birthday. What a death.

“Oh, oh no! She evacuated!”

“Wow. This is a weird death, even for your games.”

“Oh well, DOWN WE GOOO!”
“AH ECTOPLASM IN THE EYES!”

Yeah, she really did pee herself. And Grim flirted with our trashcan.

“I mean I guess they both contain trash.”

Okay I swear we have bathrooms. I don’t know why everyone ever needed to pee.

“Mmmm, I could use a snack.”

Well at least someone’s bathed and potty trained.

Still a weirdo, but hey, they’re my Sims.

So hey, let’s make it weirder! Carlee came in with an aspiration to be a vampire, out of all things. Now that we can move people out, visit places, and all of that, I figure, why not go for it?

But first, an interlude as Crumplebottom either kills a cat or listens to its commands.

Ah, the cat transformed her into a fabulous alien child. Powerful kitty!

Ah, we must have invited her over, to look so sad.

“OMG hi stranger!”

I mean, she seems pretty impressed with Adele’s moves.

Very impressed with her nose-kissing.

Too bad Adele was NOT impressed.

“This is BOOOORRRRIIIIIING!”

“Oh goodie, oh goodie! Another woman to disappoint!”

Eventually, we got Adele to come around and get her girlfriend: the oldest teen in the world.

And yet, seven hours later…

“It feels like forever since Adele has been romantic with her partner.”

Girl she JUST BECAME your partner!

“Woo is me and my cake. My girlfriend, she is so distant!”

You JUST got together.

“Look, I’m sick of this family! Why is daddy Flirty while interacting with me?!”

Because Sims are always weirdos. Always.

And so Sidney emerged from Katarina’s bed. At least when his father weirds him out now, it’s easier to get away.

What we can’t escape with Heidi’s incessant violin playing. SOMEONE is going to be lifted an Entertainer career, isn’t she.

“Me, breaking the rules?! I never!”
“I SEE your screen, mom!”

“So humiliating, Mom!”
“Gosh, I sure do LOVE homework!”

This family is, uh, emotive.

Er, what’s wrong, Casey?

“You haven’t lifted a single restriction yet in this chapter!”

Give me a break. I took a ton of photos, okay?!

And the break is called “Why You Should Never Eat Izaiah’s Food.”

“Ahhh, dust mites! Perfect for chicken!”

“Wonderful, now that it’s defying gravity, time to murderlize it!”

“But first, contemplative duck face.”

“Darn, the pepper didn’t merge straight through the pan. Must not be ready yet.”

Okay, okay, here. Katarina has lifted Athlete (Body Builder). We can now move items greater than 1×1, carry more than one stack in inventory, and move items out of family inventory. Yay we can remodel the horror bedroom!

“Yeah, I’m awesome.”

Just ignore that Stress moodlet.

And so she morphed into a magical book that flapped its cover and left for a better world.

“Look buddy, I’m used to creeps. Have you SEEN my family?”
“Kid, you’re creeping me out with that smile.”

“So anyway, I’m not coming back. Family of freaks.”
“What?! We’re perfectly normal!”
“Yeah, that’s why you’re staring THROUGH my soul.”

FINALLY. Maybe we can lift the final restriction of gen 2: Writer (Journalist).

“I never get any mail. My girlfriend must be cheating on me.”

Yeah, uh, she’s lying. Now that we could finally carry more than one stack, I had her get the mail and she went from just two items in inventory to a list with a SCROLLBAR THAT BIG.

“Man, where did these weirdos come from? What’s with the kid’s blood red eyes and gopher teeth? And they call us weird.”

“You wouldn’t see US coming in to sweep the legs out of our prey!”
“Wow, what a delightful meme! Huh, do I feel something on my ankle?”

It was apparently the trend of the evening.

“UGH not another one!”

“Sooooo, anyway, wanna play captain?”
“You’re like 14.”
“Yeah, and we are at the age where we can play monster with the kids! Be the monster captain!”

Wow, such screenshot, much impressive.

Er, are the werewolves chasing you, Pa’aka?

“No, just that person’s fashion! Or lack thereof!”

I guess I hadn’t bothered to rearrange yet, what with the urn in between the toddler beds.

Oh and plaid-anista plays violin too. Lovely.

“Alms for the boobs, er, poor?”

“As for you, sexy wolfman…”
“Um, lady, you’re married to a secret agent.”

“Hey, baby, ready for WooHoo out of this world?”

Sad when owners and pets fight in public.

“What kind of garbage IS this?! Have you not heard of BATHS?!”

Me, redress Katarina as well? Never!

“Rate THIS belch, Adele!”
“Augh, dad, keep away from open flames!”

“Uh, player lady? I think he’s stuck.”

This neighbourhood, man.

“Gosh, why isn’t the train coming?”

It’s a road, honey.

“Gosh, I’ve waited for hours, but no train!”

Trains, no, but my game continues to demonstrate that no matter how gaudy I dress my Sims, I can never beat the random generator.

At least they match.

“Ugh, this stuck homeless teen smells horrific. Time to find a different victim.”

“So anyway I think it’s great that the Fashionably Unfashionable were able to meet here today– uh, miss? You have to wear clothes to join our club.”
“Dammit!”

“So how much would you pay for this teen?”
“Uh, nothing?”

By some miracle, we convinced the teen to come into the house.

“So, uh, I love your clothes. They’re, um, well-used?”

“So I think you’re cute–“
“Hey guys! I can play this with my eye!” MMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRR–

I can’t stop laughing at this screenshot.

Eye-vuzelas apparently are the music of love.

Er, or not.

The personal emergency is, I imagine, her suddenly realizing that she was trapped on the sidewalk for 24 hours.

“Dammit, we missed the Fashionable Unfashionable meeting!”
“Curses! And I just found the right skin mask to match my horns!”

And then Raven up and died.

No, seriously. I have Neighbourhood Stories active and the game killed her.

But enough of that. We can rearrange the house and it’s time to do that. We can’t get a lot of stuff since it’s only gen 2, but we CAN make a proper ground floor. Adele will be lifting Mixologist, so a cheap bar is added.

Upstairs, finally, people no longer share one big room! Everyone has their own room, and we even fit in another bathroom.

And now the master bedroom rests on the third floor along with a few more skilling objects. Be amazed!

But of course, my Sims prefer the bathroom.

“Um, Carlee, your skin looks a bit dry. Can I rub this quesadilla on it?”

Skill, skill, skill! Especially you, Carlee.

Ahem, I said skill, not with flirt with strangers.

Well at least someone is competent in this family. Sidney will need an art career with this skill, even though neither Painter career is incredibly useful this early in the challenge.

… Maybe it’s just because it’s nearly midnight on a Monday, but I see this screenshot and my brain supplies “Okay, who farted?”

Oh, great. My game is going full-blown soap opera. Though at first I forgot that Carlee isn’t Katarina’s mother and wondered what the fuck was happening.

“Sorry, kiddo, I rate your math skills as only a C+.”
“Do you mind, grandma?!”

And for who knows what reason, I decided to join Adele and Heidi on a trip to their high school.

The teacher couldn’t be assed to show up, so the kids had to imagine the lesson and go from there.

Of course, it’s because the teacher was very busy dumpster-diving. Common thing for high school teachers!

So nevermind. Let’s get this heir on the road.

“Er, where’s my family? Hey, Sidney, my cake, hands off.”

“Well fine, screw you then!”

And of course, Adele changes in no way whatsoever. But hey, now she can officially work toward lifting her restriction!

Not again!

“Someone heeeeeeeelp!”

“Rory, please! I’ll never get dirt in your trailer again!”

Adele’s a fucking adult now, you weird-ass game.

Now who’s this?

“Uh, hey there, glowing lady!”

“She’s pretty hot. You better hide the skin from my last girlfriend so I don’t scare her.”

They went from friends to lovers VERY quickly, especially compared to her teen girlfriend.

“So we’ve only known each other like a day but want to move in?”

“How could I resist such a sexy woman?”

And so Dahlia Stack moves in as the next spouse with a charmingly-impossible Aspiration.

We set her to work immediately, of course.

“Gosh old fridges are so sexy!”

“Oh. Oh I have seen things that no human or humanoid should see.”

YOU LITERALLY JUST GOT TOGETHER!

“Gosh, I’m so afraid you’re going to cheat on me!”
“Honey, we’re still in the honeymoon phase! Why would I cheat?”

Oh? Is this Dahlia ensuring Adele of her love?

Nah, just these two horndogs.

These extremely fucking FERTILE horndogs. Unfortunately this mod seems to have finally stopped working in the latest updates, so I don’t get these anymore.

But hark, look what our pregnancy moodlets led to! Finally, the final gen 2 restriction has been lifted: Writer (Journalist)!

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Six restrictions lifted in two generations! But we still have 18 more to go. Next time: will Adele achieve her goals of bringing booze to the strange populace? How many more kids will I get from Carlee and Izaiah? Will I ever let Sidney develop a personality? Find out next time. Stay safe and well.