Oh, how I hate summer. We tend to go from winter straight to summer here, and today it’s humid and in the 80s and I have a throbbing headache. So until the ibuprofen kicks in, I might as well update this poor blog, eh?

So welcome back to my TS3 Legacy! Last time we were here, Trent practiced magic, Jessica gave birth to another kid, and Bruce continued to expose himself to the whole family. I guess you get murder or indecent exposure with this family. Let’s see which one we get today, hm?

So I guess Jessica abandoned Victoria on the side of the road or something, as we rejoin to her talking to Anna and Trent examining Jake.

“Mommy, I thought you were having a baby?”
“Eh, I figured I already had you all.”

I suppose they could be melding into one like the horses are.

Personal space, Drifter, personal space.

Apparently it’s all a bit much for Bruce.

“Too much normalcy! Time for bed.”

Tanya apparently showed up to see the baby.

“Meh, don’t care, just want to fight Charles for the rocking chair.”

Well I’m afraid he’s busy answering the phone.

“What kind of ice cream? Boo Berry? Very funny.”

I love how Sims drop a plain soft-serve ice cream into the fryer. Pretty sure it doesn’t work that way!

“Dammit, Charles, I was about to snatch the rocking chair! Now I have to get ice cream and be mad at the dishwasher!”
“Whatever, Tanya!”

“Hmmm, could’ve sworn I heard some voices.”

“Grrr, I’m tired and you’re going to make me put my dish away?!”

You weren’t too tired to wake up and get ice cream.

Honey, it’s literally morning.

“I oversleeeeeeeeeeept!”

“Budge, I will use you to store radioactive material, you bastard!”
“Really, you made me have another kid for this family?”

And we’re not done yet since you couldn’t be assed to have twins again.

“Grrr, why do I have to fix the dishwasher?!”

Because Bruce would hotwire it to explode.

Christine, you’d smell a lot better if you’d leave the Cowplant alone.

“Don’t tell her that! I’m writing my report on stupidity!”

“You’re just jealous that the horses like me!”
“It’s because you smell like one!”

Girls, girls, it’s time to grow up.

Apparently Christine is still playing with the horses though.

“Um, why don’t I have a pulse?”

“Way to make us out-of-sync, jerk!”

“Look, I’m tired, would you hurry up and blow out your candles?!”

“Man, I just want to get some food and Bruce is in the way.”

“Well fine, I’m going to jump without you!”

Good, because even Natasha and Bruce have had enough.

“Well now I’m tired.”
“Then grow up already!”

“I guess I’ll toot my own horn first–“
“Yawwwwn, kid, hurry up!”

“Um, hello, the cat is in the way!”

This family is a special disaster.

“Look, I need to pee, could my daughter hurry up?”

Evidently not.

“Hahaha, she turned into Slenderman! Loser!”

What a family.

“There, I grew up, are you happy now?!”

Well the old guy is, but everyone else, not so much.

I don’t think running and sniffing the kid is necessary, but you do you, Jessica.

“Look, kid, grow up, we have a schedule to keep.”
“Why aren’t they looking at me?”
“Consider it a blessing, hurry up now.”

Anna, Christine, and Steven. Steven couldn’t be assed to open his eyes, it appears.

Anna is my favourite, as evidenced by how much I decked her out.

What a happy couple.

“Really, we’re supposed to have one more?”
“Yep. More and more of these parties.”
“Great.”

“Check out this trick, Trent!”
“Ugh, mom’s being a freak again, I’m out of here.”

And in case you thought only my Sims were incompetent, I present Boogie.

“It’s a stretch. Shut up!”

And then I guess the turtle died, which upset Peanut more than anyone else.

“It’s so horrible!”
“Yeah whatever, I’m tired, get out of my way.”

“Ow, what did my crotch ever do to you?!”
“Oh shut up, Trent, you suck as a mime.”
“Well yeah, I know that, but the player won’t let me rejoin the military.”

Apparently Bruce only got two feet before someone else discovered the turtle.

Not to worry, Trent’s Irresistible trait to the rescue!

But instead of go to bed, Bruce goes to lecture Christine.

“Look, young lady, if you hadn’t taken forever to get to the cake, I could be asleep by now!”

I mean, he’s not wrong.

“So we have four perfectly capable adults in this house and yet I have to take care of my sis?”

Yep!

Okay it’s time for everyone to go home.

“But I’m making friends!”

GO. HOME.

Oh thanks, Christine, that’ll make them leave!

Though why is she pouring kitty litter in the ice cream machine.

“Do I have to get out of the pool for ice cream? I’m bathing my clothes!”

Methinks someone has the Insane trait.

So I guess at some point I bought the gaudiest race car ever for Bruce. I guess it suits him in a weird way?

Can I help you?

“Oh don’t mind me! I’m just a weirdo dog at a party! Free bones for everyone!”

Apparently Christine jumped into the pool so impressively that she broke the sound barrier. Hm.

Ah. Must be Labour Day.

Note how Anna thinks she’ll get a suntan in that.

“I just want my face, okay?!”

Bruce is stuck taking care of the horses.

“This one is way too delighted for my tastes! Where’s the evil horse?!”

I can safely say that I’ve never run with laundry before.

“This is Trent’s mime outfit! Gotta burn it!”

Ah, carry on.

Luckily Trent is busy… Hanging out with his child?!

“We don’t all suck as parents!”

I have evidence otherwise, hon.

I don’t know what she’s playing, but I want it to be a real game yesterday. Though come to think of it it KIND of looks like the Lion King game, which was hard beyond all measure and probably doesn’t need a remake.

“Oh. Great grandma. Nice to see you.”
“Whatever, you are kicking me out of my chair and therefore I won’t acknowledge you or your tramp pajamas!”

What…

“I don’t know, but I don’t plan to stop watching.”

911, porno being filmed at the public pool.

I Guess he found his outfit. As you can see, Jessica had reason to try and burn it.

“Boooo, you are nothing compared to the hot girl action!”

To be fair, I’ve heard not much compares.

Oh great, he’s decided to flirt his way to a promotion.

“Oh la la, so sexy in the clown outfit!”

Oh great, Bruce broke the horse again.

Fucking Generations. That’s not your bed and you ain’t getting a bedtime story, Steven. Scram!

“Still waiting for my ever after, bitch!”

Oh hush, you live forever, take care of your niece.

So judging by my photos, my game crashed or something, as I have duplicate cat parties happening. Oh well, we’ll pick this one and pretend it’s the true one.

So this one would be Bella, I think.

Er, actually, this looks more like Bella.

Look it’s nearly 11PM on a Monday night and I’ve been writing this post for literally months (it’s July now, future me who sees this when I inevitably get distracted).

Well the horse is still broken but at least we were able to race her!

I’m not sure a lab coat is comfortable on a horse but eh, it’s Bruce.

Er, can I help you?

“Oh, just looking for the serial killer who lives in this dingy hut. He owes me a few fingers.”

Yeah, see the 11PM comment for where that dark weirdness came from.

I guess this is him escaping with the fingers.

Really, why did I take this? The goofy house?

“Look, I have had right about enough of this bullshit.”

Humanity’s Anthem for 2022.

“Daddy, I’m glad that we are having cake instead of trash. Can we always have cake?”

Er, Cameo? You okay in there?

“My stall is sleeping without me and it’s freaking me out!”

Um, I’ll have Bruce look into that. It’s probably his fault anyway.

As it turns out, we’re neglecting everyone. Typical.

Could someone please feed Victoria before the new theme of this gamily is social workers.

Jessica, I admire your dedication, but I don’t think becoming one with the crib will help Victoria feel better.

“Hmmph, the stereo in the other room is broken!”

Way to focus on what matters, Trent.

Speaking of what’s important…

“Lady, would you get out of the way? Only I get to feed the birds their experimental concoction!”

Er, you’re supposed to have a driver, aren’t you?

*KKKKSKSSSKKKKKSSSSS*

Ah, yes, well, my game does enjoy rendering errors. Good luck!

*SSSKKKKSSSS*

“Peanut, do you mind?!“

Christine discovers the joy of imaginary friends. Especially ones that we made into real, but still creepy, girls.

Okay that look is never good coming from any member of this family.

“Heheheh. Those fish don’t stand a chance.”

And indeed, they didn’t.

I don’t really use the Island Paradise options as much as I’d like to. The world just doesn’t work well… In general, but especially with horses, and it’s a pain in the ass to add things like diving areas to the other worlds. And not a whole lot of worlds have enough water to really use a boat. It’s a shame because it’s a great expansion, but like everything Sims 3, uses up so many resources.

Island Living from TS4 does a pretty good job but it’s just not the same, you know? Even if their mermaids are prettier.

I’m babbling, aren’t I.

Oh, good, even the horses are inappropriate.

“Do you mind?“

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Anna is not great the whole clothes thing.

“Ahh, that incense in the other room is great!”
“Just look away, just look away…”

Ah, yes, kicking over the lawn flamingoes. Definitely an activity that is better naked.

But what’s this? Are we finally going to get that fifth kid?

Oh my god, Bruce, let the poor half-ghouled horse sleep already. It’s like the poor thing was possessed by Thunder.

“But this look is great for imposing photos!”

Ah, yes, a nice, quiet moment in the private sauna. Definitely a flipper affair, but at least they’re alone and–

Do you mind, Christine?!

“Ugh, forget it, I’m sitting in a park bench.”

“Um, helloooooo, I don’t know how to leave this room!”
“You sure she came from you?”
“At this point ,I’d be willing to say she was from aliens.”

“Well at least she left.”
“Yeah, but now I’m thinking of that weird music from the swing and I think my mood is gone.”

So we tried the shower, but Trent, haunted by that music, missed the show.

“Look, Trent, you know our clothes have to be off for this to work.”
“Oh.”

I’m not big for photos of Sims WooHooing, but it felt necessary here to a) prove it finally worked and b) show that Trent apparently wears his flippers when he gets it on.

And what is Bruce doing during all of this?

Spying on the horses.

I’m sure they’ll be calling the police in no time.

---

But I’m going to call that a night, because I don’t actually want future me to see the note and be like oh god I’ve worked on this half a year?! And I digress. Next time: final baby? Horse finally normal? The serial kiiller who sells fingers being arrested? Join us next time for the weirdest legacy around.

Stay well. Tschuess.